Comments on: Advice?

By: DaMomma

DaMomma — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:43:29 +0000

LOVE the grandoise threat-you-cannot-possibly-keep. I hate it when I do that. You are pretty well f’ed either way. Good news is, you have to make a certain amount of mistakes to compensate for how freaking gorgeous your family is so no one gets too jealous.

As to the activities, you’re much more patient and generous than I am.

It’s a bummer to pay for a class they’re not getting; but far worse to pay for a lot of stress and misery and ungrateful kids.

We don’t go to activities if the kids give me or the teacher any grief about it at all. I just can’t bring myself to beg and plead with them to do something a lot of kids wish for and can’t have.

This post was a while ago. What did you decide?

By: momomax

momomax — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:22:04 +0000

I’m taking notes. I am terrified of bargaining with my son. He’s so bossy! He can’t even talk yet.

By: FingKASIL

FingKASIL — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:21:04 +0000

This sounds familiar. Aargh. So I will pass along the words I received from Sensei: “Sometimes you have to be the jerk parent. You have to push them sometimes, so they learn that it’s not okay to quit something just because it’s hard.” And I also try to tell myself that, once he’s in kindergarten, he has to go unless he’s really sick, so he might as well learn that lesson now.

Having said that, we still get pushback from time to time on martial arts despite all our efforts. And I think it’s okay to give them a break from it once in a while.

Consequences: They get them. But only if they are swift. I think that a class that is coming in future weeks is too abstract.

Was any of that helpful? No? Then how about knowing that we are dealing with the same crazy-making shit over here.

By: Tessa

Tessa — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:39:58 +0000

ryc: Man that 6lbs is perfect!! I hope the twins come out weighing about 6lbs. I read that the safe weight is 5.5 lbs for the twins. So you’re perfect!

By: tracey

tracey — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:04:34 +0000

I didn’t read the other comments (reading in all caps gives me a headache…) but here’s my 2 cents, for what it’s worth (since my kids are turning out so great… HA)

They’re too young to really, really understand consequences that happen weeks later. If you do a class, perhaps you should bring a treat or toy or something (nothing toooo fabulous. Maybe just fruit chews or a granola bar or something) for them to receive, but only if their behavior is what you want. It’s immediate. It’s gratifying. And seeing their sibling receive something but not themselves is always a good motivator.

If they both misbehave, you could make a big deal of either eating it yourself or of having them throw it into the garbage cans themselves. I just had my 2 year old throw away all of her chocolates and candies from the easter egg hunt because she kept stealing them. She’s still repeating that mantra…”no steal candy, gotta frow it away… mommy get weeeealllly mad.”

By: christina

christina — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:20:18 +0000

I’ve always felt that 20 minutes was the max for any one activity for my BabyGirl, so maybe it’s not the twins, but the length of the class? Especially if it’s a bit boring…for what it’s worth.

By: darthfoofie

darthfoofie — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:37:09 +0000

I feel your frustration about your children not understanding consequences and then being stuck i a threat. I’m in that boat with A-chan right now, not about her activities because she loves going to gymnastics and soccer. It’s about other things. She completely doesn’t get punishment and consequences, and it’s so frustrating! I’m surprised I’m not bald. I don’t know why I waste my time talking to her since she doesn’t really get it. I just drive myself bonkers.

By: Lois Lane

Lois Lane — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:29:23 +0000

they really know how to push our buttons, huh? ash likes to refuse to do ANYTHING at all in our baby gym class until about 15 minutes in… then she’s the class leader and talking up a storm. they’re so tough sometimes and so stubborn about what they want. i say make them stay. they’re the ones who were so excited about it every time. let them deal with their decision to take the class. they can seek therapy later.

By: keikicakes

keikicakes — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 05:02:13 +0000

I have no advice but…I feel your pain…and it makes you feel any better I would have said the same thing to my dd. Sometime when I give her consequences…why is that it is harder on me then her?
Now…I try so hard not to say BIG consequences but…it’s so hard.

My dd is a gymnastics class and for the life of me…she will NOT listen or follow instructions during the stretching part. She does have good days and bad days.

Yeah…I never know if what I am telling my dd she understands or if it’s above her poor 3 year old head.

By: mamie

mamie — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:49:16 +0000

first off, thanks so much for the comment. i really love knowing there are others out there reading up on me as i read up on them and i really appreciate the time you took to swing by…and you can use the twin card anytime you want, because i know.

apparently i will be knowing more by reading here, i have very little to suggest in the whole dilemma of gymnastics and the next step, but i do want to hear what others say because i think i have those twins, you know, the ones walking at 10 months and trying all kinds of things that scare me because i think three year olds do that stuff, not babies under one. arrrgggg, what in the hell was god thinking, oh yeah, payback for my precocious childhood.

i love the way you write and i think from everything i have read here that you do really well as a parent and buddy and bean sound very far from stepford….just sound like kids to me. i have 7 other siblings and that still has not helped much with the raising of twins but it does give me the realization that my parents got us through it and they had to try every tactic in the book including sleeping in the garage. probably a bit of overkill for the twins at this point, yeah?