As the kids climb into the car after school today, Buddy spots a toy (courtesy of a Happy Meal, thank you very much) that he left in his carseat this morning.
Buddy: Hey look, there’s my toy!
Me: Okay, you can play with it for a little while, and then you have to share it with Bean.
Buddy: Um… Actually. I don’t think I can. I think actually I have to share it tomorrow.
Me: Actually, I think you can share it today. Play with it for a few minutes and then share it with Bean please.
Buddy: Okay.
After a few minutes, he hands it to Bean. Another minute passes, and a tidal wave of every compelling argument he has up his sleeve begins.
Buddy: Bean, you have to share.
…Bean, sharing is caring!
…Bean, see my hand? [extends his arm towards her] That means I’m waiting!
…Bean, just one more minute, okay? One more minute and then it’s my turn.
Bean: Um… I think ten minutes.
Buddy: No, just one minute, Bean.
Bean: Oh. Okay.
Finally, she reaches to hand it to him. I hear a piece of it fall in the box that sits between them. (Technically, it’s a diaper box — because *ahem* we are nothing but class, baby — that keeps books and toys handy.)
Buddy and Bean: Oh no!
Buddy: Where is it? [Searches all around him. Apparently inanimate objects can fly over his head and land on his other side.]
Bean: I don’t know. Where’dit go?
Buddy: There it is, Bean! [looks in the box] There it is!
Bean: Oh!
Buddy [huffing]: I. Can’t. Reach. It. Ugh… Help me, Bean! Can you help me please?
Bean: Okay. [huffing also] Buddy! Get out of the way, okay?
A few quiet seconds pass. Suddenly I hear objects crashing down. I peer in the mirror and see that Bean has lifted the box and spilled the contents all over herself and the car floor. She manages to find the missing piece amongst the rubble. Then holds it in the air.
Bean: Ta da!
Buddy starts giggling. Then laughing. Then guffawing. Big. Belly. Laughs. Which makes me laugh.
Bean [realizing Buddy is punchy, and not one to miss an opportunity with an attentive audience]: TA DA!
Buddy laughs even harder. Which makes me laugh harder.
Bean: Is that funny, guys? Guys, is that funny? …Ta da! TA DAAAA!
Being a parent to twins is so worth it when we get to eavesdrop on their conversations. I think about those months when I sat silently by myself, with no one to talk to while I changed, nursed, burped, pumped, repeat. They were all worth it. Just so I can sit silently now and listen to them carry on their own conversation. Really, there’s not a lot funnier than listening to your kids negotiate with one another.
:::
By the way, thanks to all you Mofos for delurking. And… um, hellooooo…
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13 Comments
Oh, man. That’s hilarious! Your kids have got quite the negotiating skillz!
I love how sharing is all about the other person sharing.
That’s such a great little scene. It must be fun having twins. Bella has conversations with her doll. But it’s not the same.
they’re such hams, just like mommy!
- nina “mofo”
Hi there Halfmama,
I’ve been a mofo lurking on your site for a while now…
I have boy/girl twins also and they are 2-1/2 now….I am Korean and hubby is full on white (redneck-like).
I love to read your blog and laugh and cry with you as I am still struggling to get free time for myself to do anything else but lurk. Thanks for sharing your stories! Will continue to lurk and leave comments more often.
Jeenda (aka Tina)
I know keeping up with twins must be a very challenging job but I’m so glad it is also so much fun. Thanks for sharing.
i love these little scenes with bean & buddy! they’re so hilarious and ‘pure’.
here’s another (stupid?) question… where did you get the names bean & buddy from? they’re so unique and cute.
i’m helping a friend think of baby names but i can’t seem to come up with a good one that she likes…
- jenn
they get cuter on all fronts. I love how polite and sinister buddy is. bean, on the other hand seems to have a vast capacity for accomodation w/buddy.
um, i think i have to share TOMORROW.
good god. so cute
This is the first time I’ve ever been to your blog, but I’m delurking myself now. Before I forget. Because…well…I don’t want to be a mofo.
LOL That sounds like a page out of my day!
first time here! definitely not lurking!
but i loved your parenting post. i laughed because i am so guilty of saying all those things.
well, maybe not the “paternal” thing.
i’ll be back.
Half MaMa…do you save and scrap book these stories in a scrap book or binder? These are precious stories. You are raising funny and really good kids.
Alice
Do they really talk like that? That is just too sweet. I love to eavesdrop on children’s conversations when I have lunchroom duty. It’s just so funny to hear their perspectives on things and the way they rationalize.
my kids are just starting to get to the age where there’s more interacting with each other. Cheeks does most of the talking since The Beast is only 1 years old, but still, it’s pretty funny to eavesdrop on them.
very funny story!