Over Labor Day weekend, while away at our friend’s summer cabin, we all decided to take the kids to the pool. Buddy was in front of the group with G. He walked right up to the edge of the pool, paused for a moment, and without any notice — with his shoes and shirt still on — jumped right into the deep end.
He can’t swim.
G jumped in after him — backpack and all — swam down to a quickly sinking Buddy, grabbed him and pulled him up to the surface.
This happened so fast I don’t think I moved. I froze as if I was watching it on a movie screen and had no influence on the scene at all, except to watch it unfold. When he was lifted out of the pool, he cried and cried, scared absolutely shitless. Somehow he managed not to swallow any water, as he wasn’t choking or complaining about his nose hurting or anything, so maybe G showing the kids how to hold their breath and blow bubbles in the bathtub paid off in some way. Or, maybe it was just instinct.
When we asked him later why he jumped in the pool, he answered: “Because I jumped in the pool.”
After five minutes of holding him (okay, clutching him and practically suffocating him), cocooned in a towel, he ceased crying and said, “Mommy I want to go in the pool now.” Well, okay then.
He had a great time after that, seemingly unaffected by the FACT THAT HE HAD ALMOST JUST DROWNED.
I think G and I were still shaking at the end of the day. But, we’re thankful that we were all there (rather, I’m glad G was there as I seem to freeze during moments of pressure like I’m Cindy Brady on-air), and that Buddy was still willing to get in the pool after that and wasn’t traumatized, like I was.
Yesterday, I got the kids some down vests for the fall weather (if it ever arrives). Buddy was wearing his for awhile, looking like he couldn’t move. After several minutes, he asked me, “Mommy, this jacket is for the boat?”
First of all… no, you funny little bugger.
Second of all… what boat?
:::
A couple of weeks ago, I was parked on a busy street and needed to get the kids in the car. I had Buddy climb in first so he could get into his carseat, which was on the street side. While I was pushing his bum up, I glanced sideways and noticed Bean was no longer waiting patiently next to me, which she usually does.
I zoomed around the car door, looking for her on the sidewalk, then ran to the back of the car, and saw her about to step into oncoming traffic. I screamed at her, lunged and pulled her back, completely scaring her in the process.
She was confused that Buddy was getting in on her side, so she assumed she should go to the other side.
Before the twins were born, this was something I worried about constantly. I had read books about twins running in opposite directions in parking lots. So when they first started walking, I was a dictator about holding hands. Luckily, they usually never wander too far, and when we call them, they usually listen to us.
Just goes to show that I can’t assume anything. At all.
In the car after that, my heart was thumping.
I lectured them about running into the street, always staying close to me, never jumping into pools, etc. etc. (Actually, Buddy brought up the pool thing, since I was going down a checklist of things they should never do anyway.) I told them whenever they cross the street, they always have to hold an a-dolt’s hand. I told them they needed to hold my hand or Daddy’s hand. Then I asked them who else’s hands they thought they could hold.
Buddy offered, “We can hold Aunt FingKASIL’s hand!” (Clearly, not her real name. I thought FingKASIL would appreciate this —number three on the list of a-dolts! Awesome, considering they haven’t seen her since they were 14 months old or so.)
Bean offered, ”We can hold S’s hand!” S (a friend of ours) is her crush — the one that causes her eyelashes to get all Betty Boopy.
:::
Lawd. I’m close to not bringing my kids out in public anymore.
When the kids were smaller and people said things to me like: “I don’t know how you do it, with twins,” I snorted and told them that our kids were going to grow up to be like those Flower in the Attic kids — i.e. three feet tall mutant adults from lack of sunshine or fresh air. I was too scared/tired/lazy to take them out by myself. I could usually tell if I would get along with people by their reaction to my joke.
But seriously. These kids! My heart is going to bust out of my chest soon.
Shit. With each passing day, all I learn about parenting… is that I really know jack shit about parenting.
:::
11 Comments
it never ceases to amaze me (in our baby proofed, uberlitigious society) - the ease and speed in which my kids find an object or activity that can cause graphic bodily harm or death. they’re inventive, i’ll give ‘em that.
i swear one of them is going to kill me with a toaster in the bathroom or something… proving that my time on earth was spent merely to inspire a new character in Clue.
Comment…Take 2! I was so verklempt by Buddy’s remark that I have to pull myself together. I am kvelling. (translation: I am walking on air.) He can hold my hand any time. I hope the holiday plans pan out so I can cover him in zerberts, sweet little munchkin.
Both of those incidents, especially the one where Buddy jumped in the pool, sound sooooo scary. Glad everything turned out okay. I love the “Because I jumped in the pool.”
Your last sentence is so true. I feel that way all the time.
oh lord, don’t i know it. i think poison control has some sort of file going on me because of the amount of times i’ve called. i swear i turned around for a second and turtle had the poinsettia flower or ointment tube or silica gel packet in his mouth and i have no idea how i swear. and incidentally, turtle did the same thing as bean the other day and almost stepped right into a on coming traffic thinking he was going to get in on the other side of our car for a change. i screamed his name and yanked him back like a lunatic. it wasn’t even a scream. it was a animal like roar. and i only have one to look after. you get through twice the fun. yikes. go halfmama!
Oh. My. Gosh. I don’t even want to imagine such things… but Em’s definitely starting to scare me around streets/parking lots.
And that “what boat?” comment totally made me think of an episode of Lost.
jc fell in the pool once when he was a little over a year. scared the poop right out of me. one nano-second he’s fine, the next - totally under water! he’s five now and just started really enjoying the water last year. souns like buddy wasn’t too phased by the whole incident, tho! good for him (and you).
buddy is going to be the death of me. i’m about to asphyxiate from laughing. don’t get me wrong, (and don’t come after me if I misspelled asph-whatever) I don’t like the idea of Buddy drowning or Bean getting run over, but you and your kids are awesome even in crisis.
One thing: I truly do admire you because you’re like supermom to me. Mothers always don’t know jackshit about raising children, but they still do it the right away. They just go by instinct.
I remember I scared my mom when I was younger when I took a big scissor and tried to cut my finger off. Yah I was a bit slow back then. But hey my mom beat the shit out of me for being stupid and then hugged me.
wow, i’ve been away from halfmama for awhile, and now i’m back and shit has gotten hectic. the pool, the bully at school, the closed fist punch…
you are one heck of a strong mama!
Holy shit - that just happened last night. We parked on the other side of street from this restaurant and, after dinner, LN broke away from me to run to my car (which she always does when we leave home but then the car is parked on OUR side of the street)… almost right INTO a traffic. I forgot for a second that we had parked across the street and took a split second to remember and another to realize what LN was about to do. DAMN… that’s so freaking scary. (Good thing I only have one to keep an eye on… I don’t think I’d be qualified for twins…)
Yes, I’ve met Jack Shit; hell, he’s a constant fixture in my life as a parent!
On another note, thank goodness Buddy’s pool incident was no more than a scare! Don’t beat yourself up. I think we mommies tend to ‘freeze up’ when we know our significant other is around…I know that if you’d been alone with them you’d have gone in a millisecond right after!
Hugs!