I seem to have fooled everyone into thinking I’m some kind of rational being. Ha. Ha ha ha.
The truth is that I have quite a temper. I’ve always been pretty over-reactive and gotten into way too many unnecessary arguments. So what’s changed?
I’m too tired. Whether it’s to care or to put up a fight, I don’t even know. Okay, maybe I’ve matured a bit. Mostly, I think I just want to be someone my kids respect. I mean, who doesn’t?
However, it doesn’t mean my temper doesn’t spill out on occasion. Probably too many occasions. And then I worry that my kids do what I tell them not because they respect me, but because they are scared of me. In reality, it’s probably a little of both. It kills me to admit that, but it’s probably true.
So, I just continue to work on it. And apologize to them when it rears its ugly head. Hopefully at the very least they’ll learn that I’m trying my best, but I have many faults.
As for dealing with the teacher… it’s still early in the school year. I suspect this won’t be my last serious-issue conversation with her. I needed to start on the right foot with her.
Still, I now know why my mom would stay up worrying about us all the time. I always thought it was silly, but wow — I’ve had a few restless nights over this punching and the (seemingly) planned attack. As Mama Nabi said, That’s some fucked up kid mafia shit. Yup. Yup it is. And LMKR (and truthfully, her parents too) is still on my suspicious-as-shit list.
However. I’ll behave. For now. But if it happens again, I’ll probably go a little apeshit. Just call me Bruce Banner.
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Ok, to further prove that I know the Beanster is not a perfect child… I’m not sure what is going on with her but she has been having a lot of mini-breakdowns. Fake crying when she doesn’t get her way. The girl has got her acting on. And it developed before school started so as much as I would like to blame someone else, I really can’t.
I did speak with the teacher about it. She is definitely asserting this defiance at school as well. The teacher thought maybe she was trying to define herself differently from Buddy and test her boundaries. Didn’t we go through this already, at two?
I’m not sure if she’s tired, needing more attention, going through a phase, testing us, all of the above…? She seems to have a lot of pent-up emotion, so when she gets upset I try and talk to her about what she is upset about, but it seems to be about more than whatever little thing it is — something that she used to handle with no problem in the past. So I tell her to cry and let it out, and she does. Then she asks to go to bed, because this exhausts her. A little while later, she emerges with a smile on her face and tells me she feels better.
The mood swings! Holy crap. I thought I had a few more years until this girl turned exactly into me.
Fucking karma.
:::
Every night, we ask the kids how school was and what they did that day. We get a lot of shrugs and raised hands and “I don’t knows” and “Nothings.”
Hello? When did they turn into teenagers?
I need to research the Montessori materials so we can start asking them specifically about their day. Anyone have any online resources?
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Finally, I have a post up on Parenting. To go with my theme of the week, it’s long as shit so proceed with caution (if you choose). It’s about familial traditions. Click here to read.
8 Comments
Wow, it’s Bean’s time of the month already? Yikes. But I hear you on the temper thing… I totally get mine from my Korean mom and hate that it occasionally sneaks out. I always feel like crap afterwards and am trying so hard to keep it hidden away. Emmy, on the other hand, seems to be the ultra sensitive type at times - I pray that I don’t break her spirit, you know?
P.S. - The Parenting post is super sweet… Makes me wish my family was more of a tried-and-true traditions type as I was growing up. Guess that’s what hubby and I have to work on!
you might want to wear ugly clothes for the next few months just in case your anger takes over, bruce. we really don’t want to see you mad. hate to ruin any haute couture you may be wearing.
With Bean, it could be the new preschool. I think whenever something changes, you can see some unpleasant behavior. Bella went through the defiant phase when I went back to work in the summer. It has gotten better. I’ve seen the same thing happen with other toddlers when there’s a move or a new baby at home.
I have a temper too. I find that usually when I lose it it’s because I’m tired/ stressed/ really need a break. So maybe you just need some “me” time or something? Three-year-old defiance would test anyone’s patience, though.
HM: I can give you the contact info offline, but I recommend talking to The Guru…Grandmar. Not only is she a former Montessori teacher–officially trained and everything–she is working on a program right now for the state of NJ on how to deal with bullies. She is retiring from her official state job as of October 1, so she’ll have lots of time for consultations. I’ll give you her email, if you like. You know we think she is brazilliant when it comes to stuff like this. Even/especially these mood swings and “phases” they go through.
I’m heading over to Parenting now to see what you got goin’ on over there.
Yeah. The Poo does tha fake-crying act, too. We tell her if she needs to cry she can, but she must do it alone in her room.
It works pretty well.
max cries like a crocodile all the time. he will literally chuckle, evil-like, after he WINS and we cave.
I wish you well on this new stage in bean’s and buddy’s academic career. I’m watching and learning, but am certain that I will not be better prepared when my kid freaks us out when he starts school. (at least bean wasn’t the puncher!)
About the “what did you do today?” - I found this works for us …ask the kids what one of the other kids in their class did today..who x kid ate with, did they play at x station, etc.
HTH!
I got temper issues (gotta be genetic since it’s so my dad…) and I kind of see it in LN… as in being an anal retentive perfectionist who gets frustrated at one’s own imperfections and lash out at others… which, I remember, was really hard when i was little. I couldn’t draw as well as I wanted to, couldn’t do this, couldn’t do that… sigh. (How is it soooooo cute to hear about Bean having mood swing? And not so much when LN is… :-))