Comments on: Another Long Ass Crazy Post: (Or, An Update)

By: agpie's mom

agpie's mom — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 18:34:00 +0000

this morning ann [?] from good morning america was on sesame street and explaining the word “apology.” she had a tough time. and i still didn’t understand the explanation afterwards. so it must not be bad parenting…
agpie’s overuse of the word very early on used to drive me nuts (i think it was one of her first words). i asked the babysitter to stop using it and then i realized it was me. i think for everyone, not just toddling twins, it’s the easiest way to move on…

By: dsmommy

dsmommy — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:02:00 +0000

Just wanted to say that i learned so much from this post. thanks.

By: sierrajuliettromeo

sierrajuliettromeo — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:03:00 +0000

i’m hopelessly behind as usual, not that i have anything to add that hasn’t already been said. i’m glad to hear, though, that you had a reassuring talk with Bean’s teacher.

as for the apologizing thing, it’s taken us a LOT of restraint to NOT tell Cadence to say she’s sorry when she’s done something wrong because we don’t want her to say something unless she means it. it feels really awkward when we’re w/ other kids and their parents, and you’re kinda expected to MAKE your kid apologize. we’ve gotten cadence to say thank you and please more by modeling than by compelling, and we hope that’ll work for the apologizing too. if we’re preceived as being rude in the short run by other families, i guess that’s what we have to deal with in hopes that cadence will learn to apologize out of true remorse and empathy, and not just to fulfill social expectations.

that being said, i’m not sure HOW to get cadence to actually FEEL sorry when she’s done something wrong. is it a developmental thing? i hope so…

By: Mama Nabi

Mama Nabi — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 20:47:00 +0000

Dude… that was way calm. Way collected. I’m gonna borrow you when I have to do my first teacher-parent thing.

I’m still not over it, though. Because LN pulls that shit with me when we play together - you know, I want things certain way and she may want to cover everything up with sand… and she’s not being malicious - but she does tend to be dogged about pleasing her own sense of aesthetics. And that shouldn’t earn her a closed fist punch. No way.
And it wasn’t an immediate reaction - they waited until Bean was doing something else and then ganged up on her. That’s some fucked up kid mafia shit. That’s what worries me… it wasn’t an impulse move - it was a calculated attack.

(Sheesh, ya’d think I’m Bean’s parent the way I can’t let the shit go… sorry. I know, your way is more zen. Mine is… well, psychotic.)

Extra hugs for Bean from Auntie Nabi!

By: Mama's Moon

Mama's Moon — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 19:00:00 +0000

You survived your first serious parent-teacher ‘conference’ about an issue that really riled you up. And? And you sifted through it diplomatically in your own protective motherly right, as well you should have. You were also able to see both sides of the matter, as well as coming out of it much more respected by the kids’ teacher for being levelheaded and up front about your concerns. All in all, good job, HalfMama! Many others (including myself) would’ve been shaking with tears and emotion over our little one being hit with a closed fist by a peer! Can you say: ’straight ghetto-style’? Yeah, that would be me!

Anyway, just wanted to give you a hug and encourage you to keep on keeping on. I could relate to your post on so many more levels than I can even describe. Bean and Buddy are lucky to have you watching after them. You rock, Lady!

By: momomax

momomax — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:48:00 +0000

wut? where the hell, how did I miss your last post? sorry I’ve been out of it. what a little shit. I can’t even think straight right now. I just read the last one and now the update and I’m steaming. I know that kids are cruel and their animal instincts run unchecked sometimes. Bean is tough. She seems like a smart cookie you know? I have to say though, I felt nauseous after reading about the closed fist. Did you get a chance to talk to her parents? I would have been horrified if that was my kid. gargh. (I’m a pirate) I’m so sorry you had to deal with that little…girl.

By: kim

kim — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:33:00 +0000

Keep us posted on how things turn out. I’m reassured that the teacher seems to be level-headed and approachable.

The point about apologizing is an interesting one… I wonder when a child actually understands when they need to (or don’t need to) apologize? We have Emmy do it for naughty behavior, but how much of it is just to please us versus real understanding? Interesting food for thought…

By: angie

angie — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:39:00 +0000

congrats(!) on getting through what i consider a nerve racking event: the first parent teacher conversation about something unpleasant.

i feel . . . much better. (LOL!!!)

LMKR is on my shit list, too.

By: Snickollet

Snickollet — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:49:00 +0000

You rock. It sounds like you had a really productive, calm, rational, grown-up conversation with the teacher. I’m so impressed!

By: Superha

Superha — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 07:07:00 +0000

glad things went well with the teacher, but seriously, LOVE the oatmeal story. kids can be so funny!