Mama Nabi passed this Rockin’ Blogger badge to me. Thanks MN! (I love that the chick on this badge is wearing a do-rag and is a 50s depiction of a cleaning housewife. Oh how far we’ve come!)
MN is one of my fave Rockin’ Bloggers. She drops f-bombs like no one else. Much respect. More importantly, she makes me think… and on occasion, rage for her. I think I get a lot of aggression out just commenting on her blog. It’s samgyetang for my soul.
Moving along… I’m passing this on to:
diapers, budgets & paint: Kim was the first person (outside of my family) to read/comment on my blog. That makes her, like, family. She’s smart and sweet and has one of the adorable-est kids in blogland. (Well, honestly, all of these bloggers do…) [edited to add: forgot that Kim is taking a break right now, so take your time, Kim!]
Snickollet: I don’t know how she does all that she does. Inspirational. Period.
The Lotus Life: Lien makes me think too. A lot. Her introspections/observations are invaluable.
shiksa, please.: My f’ing kickass SIL (FingKASIL)… she’s kosher. Okay, not completely, but she’s f’ing funny and how lucky am I to have her in my family? She’s my free therapy. Doc Shiksa is in.
Chicken And Cheese: I picture myself sitting down with a big mug of coffee someday and her first published novel. It will be eloquent and thoughtful and it’ll make an impact. Just wait.
Here are my five random thoughts regarding Feminism:
1. Respect each other’s choices, extreme or not. If I want to practice AP, leave me the fuck alone about it. If I want to let my child cry it out, leave me the fuck alone about that too. If I want to work full time, work part time, or work at home taking care of my kids, why the hell do you care? My decisions have to do with me, myself, and I, and with G and my kids. No one else. If you want to ask questions, feel free, but don’t ask in a way to put others on the defensive.
2. I hate that some women think they need to act a certain way around men. Blech. If I think a guy is a disgusting pig and has crossed the line, I’ll tell him. If I want to laugh because a guy is f’ing funny, then I’ll laugh. If you’re going to giggle whenever a guy says anything stupid, then turn around and give me a dirty look because I’m friends with that guy, then fuck off. You’re an idiot. I can’t help it if you’re a tool and he thinks so too. Stop laughing at his dumbass jokes and pretending to be a ditz. He knows you’re faking it.
3. One of my goals for my daughter is to make sure she is confident in any situation. I don’t want her to second-guess herself ever or have anyone else second-guess her because she is a female.
4. One of my goals for my son is to make sure he never passes judgment on a girl/woman because she is female (or for any other reason for that matter). Unless that person is cruel and evil. Then — go to town, my boy.
5. Sometimes I go with G to meet with a male professional (e.g. a mortgage broker). On occasion, that professional will not look at me unless I ask him a question directly. He’ll look at me while I ask my question, then turn to G and answer it. This bugs the shit out of me. I can’t figure out if it’s because I’m female, I’m Asian, I smell, or all three. Whatever the reason, it pisses me the fuck off. Dudes, if you do this, check yourself. Because we’re making assumptions that you may not want us to make. I will say this: Female professionals have never done this to me. Ever. I won’t take my business to a female just because she’s female, but I will if she’s good at what she does and she looks at me when she talks to me.
(Another long post. Sorry fellow bloggers. I don’t know how to write short posts. Working on this…)
Anyway, go on… you have meme homework now!
14 Comments
You flatter me. But I live for flattery!
Thanks, I was hoping to get this button. I’m a sucker for buttons.
You need to google Rosie the Riveter
Doh! Anon, you’re right. I’m an idiot. I didn’t recognize it w/out the “We can do it!” Thanks for setting me straight.
Wow, thanks! But really? Me? Wow. Working on getting away from blogger at the moment but will definitely post something related to this as soon as I have a new site up.
PS Regarding No. 5; it’s always the financial services guys who do that to me and usually when they’re trying to sell me something. Dude, wtf? I’m the primary breadwinner, I make twice as much as my hubby and you know it so give me some fuckin respect and look me in the eye when I ask you a question or so help me I will jump across this desk and smack you repeatedly with this stapler…ahem, so yeah, I hate that shit too.
OOOh yeah I get ya on the whole “no eye contact” issue. You have me fired up! Course–not that hard to do.
When we went to buy my car a couple of years ago I got the same thing. And the joke? I was the one who was asking ALL the questions, doing all of the talking…and frankly..all of the negotiating. K. has crazy awesome skills in many areas. He is one of the smartest guys I know. But he is also pretty laid back and not at all “agressive”. Me on the otherhand?u uuh–generally have no problem telling it like it is and questioning when I want to know more. Its a good thing. We balance each other out. So anyway—the guy (a nice enough guy as far as used car salesman guys go) continued to talk more towards K! Now you know me enough to know that that kinda disrespect worked against him big time! YUCK. Makes you feel pretty icky. What the heck century are we in!? It would seem to me that it is obvious fairly quickly that I am the outspoken and direct one out of the two of us. Seems interesting to me that someone doesn’t pick up on the subtle and not so subtle cues we put out there. So given the fact that K appeared practly mute during the whole scenario-I can only conclude that the sales guy assumed that all my questions were being telepathically sent directly from K’s mind to my mouth! He obviously did not believe that I –a female–was the one he needed to deal with and that my husband was simply along for the ride. Seems crazy to me. This guy was around our age. So it was not a “generational thing”. He can’t claim “old timer” on me. So it makes you wonder how he sees his own wife, sister, etc. Is this kind of view of women across the board for guys like this? Or is it specific to a few areas? I’m thinking of- finances, car buying and actually–anything to do with cars! Thank god I have a mechanic that respects that I actually know more about cars then my husband! And come to think of it–that is one of the big reasons we continue to return to that shop.
Rock on! Smelly Asian Female! (Great name for a band! Haaaa!)
Ciao for now!
Awwwww, you’re too sweet! I loved your site from the first time I stumbled upon it, and I’m in total awe to see how quickly you’ve risen to such bloggerific fame! You’re the reason we keep Soy Vay products in our fridge, and you show me what the future holds as the kids grow older and more… expressive! Even though I’m on a break, I’ll be dropping by regularly - I can’t stay away from family!
And I almost forgot: amen to #1! #3 is also one of my goals for Emmy so feel free to share any mommy secrets to building confident girls, I’ll definitely use ‘em.
I like your list, especially #1 and #3.
Your comments are similar to the way I feel. Rock on.
#5 This pisses me off to no end, except that it happens with my husband. We just went to a car dealership last week and we’re obviously buying a truck for my husband yet the salesguy will not even look at my husband. Granted, my husband was letting me do all the talking (which I’m good at for many reasons, one being that I am a native speaker of English), but even when I repeatedly looked at my husband to answer the salesguy’s questions, the man would not speak to my husband. It happens all the time and it never gets any less aggravating. To be honest, it was the same way in reverse in Korea. Everyone ignored me, but I didn’t feel too bad because my Korean is pathetic; I didn’t want anyone to ask me anything!
Au contraire, mon SIL. I am the lucky one. And I feel ya on this whole list. Especially #1. Oooh, that really chaps me. And while it is one of life’s little sadnesses that I will not have a daughter to raise in our strong feminist familial nest, I do have two boys to teach about equality, feminism, and justice. If there was one great thing I learned from my Dad, it was/is “Girls can do anything boys can do. And they will, and sometimes better.”
I proudly hope that my daughter grows up to become a feminist!
On a side note, I saw this and thought you wold get a kick out of it. Let’s call it the “humorous” side of feminism.
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?ml_video=89368
MD: That is f’ing hysterical. More importantly: G will thank you if that video persuades me to call ‘The Susan B Anthony of Pole Dancing’ and have a Kid Rock pole set up somewhere.
*insert hysterical laughter at G here*
Go Johnna Mink!
Hmmmm..do you think they make poles with a Mickey Mouse design on them. Think eBay might have some? Need to email Johnna Mink and inquire! Thanks for the tip. Unc S will love you for it.