Comments on: Hapa Chameleon

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 02 May 2007 20:53:00 +0000

Have you seen this? http://www.seaweedproductions.com/hapa/
I’ve love being hapa but still not sure how I fit in or don’t. It’s great to be a little “exotic” a little asian a little this a little that. Glad you’re a part of it too.

By: Kyong

Kyong — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 14:02:00 +0000

hi half mama - you have a great blog here, and you’re sooo funny and point out really poignant mommy moments. anyway just wanted to gush a little. i love looking at hapa people too - my daughter esp! there is a definite “hapaness” you can spot no matter how uniquely it translates on each person’s face. i have kip fulbeck’s portrait book about hapas. i just lent it to my best friend who gushed about daniel henney when i sent her the youtube video of his commercial for beanpole with gwyneth paltrow. oh, and my first hapa crush - keanu reeves - my caucasian friend sara who also had a crush on him insisted he looked completely white - nothing asian at all about him. i kept trying to explain to her about the “hapaness.”

By: Beloved

Beloved — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 01:24:00 +0000

Daniel Henney. *sigh*

This concept was very interesting to me but I also thought Henney looked more white next to the caucasian chic and more Asian next to the Asian girl. Hmmm. . .

I once invited a 3rd grade Korean adoptee (who is the only child of Asian descent in his school) to our local Korean church here in VT. He was transfixed with everyone and particularly enamored with my husband. Unfortunately, his adoptive parents never brought him again. I think they had good intentions, but didn't realize the magnitude of the experience for him.

By: Mama's Moon

Mama's Moon — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 17:59:00 +0000

Yes, so true about looking one way in one set of surroundings and quite another in a different environment. I remember the double standard I lived with when my own family would say things like, “You can really see the ‘white’ in her” whenever I stood next to my own cousins and other filipinos. It made me mad that they were making such a big deal stroking my ego while almost putting everybody else down. And whenever I was around my caucasian friends and classmates they would almost glorify their ‘white’features in front of me! Talk about identity crisis - it made me feel like a person’s looks were all that really mattered.

Also, now that The Big Guy is a lot more social and curious I’ve begun to worry about how he views himself in comparison to his other friends. We don’t have too much of a diversity at his school so I think he doesn’t really think about it at all. But what happens when he gets older and realizes he’s definitely different? And how is he going to deal when the mean kid points out his slanted eyes and shorter nose? I shudder to think about it bc it brings back all too painful memories of my own when my parents dismissed it as being too sensitive.

Your posts really do make me think - you’re doing great!

By: Lori

Lori — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 18:16:00 +0000

I’d never thought about the hapa + Caucasian/Asian thing before - interesting! The pictures you posted certainly worked that way for me.

Our experience is that people tend not to realize that our daughter is hapa unless her Dad is around; if it’s just me, I think they think she’s Hispanic, if anything. Personally, I think she looks a lot like her Korean grandmother, but you have to know their expressions well to really see it (well, anyone but her grandmother herself, who latched onto the baby as the only grandchild who has “big eyes like me.” The temper, though, she attributed to my nonexistent Irish ancestors).

By: kim

kim — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 04:45:00 +0000

I love seeing photos of all the budding hapa-ness around here! I’m always unconsciously searching the faces around me for that “hapa look” - growing up, there was always just me and one other girl in my class. We both have a Korean mom and white dad, went to all the same schools up thru 12th grade, graduated valedictorian and salutatorian (which was hilarious in our very black-white school), and amazingly, ended up working for the same company years later and 3 hours from home! As you may guess, we NEVER got along (LOL) - I embraced my Asian side and she highlighted her hair and wore pale makeup to look more Hispanic-ish / white. Nowadays I see hapa kids all over the place… the diversity in their hair color always amazes me! Koreans always stop me and comment on the lightness of Em’s hair (and claim that it’s blonde - eeek!); it’s currently the brown color of my dad’s hair before he grayed. Hubby and I always wonder what parts of my dad’s genes will come out in our 3/4ths babies, and I love every minute of it!

Halfmama, Mama Nabi and Rachel - your kids are gorgeous! They all have such beautiful / handsome features that will have them stand out in a crowd. (Like that Daniel actor guy - what a hottie!)

By: jstele

jstele — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 04:51:00 +0000

I think your son looks 70% Asian and 30% white. I haven't seen enough of your daughter to say anything.

Mama Nabi,

Your daughter looks roughly half, but more Asianish. Actually, she looks like she could be half white/half Native American.

By: bokumbop

bokumbop — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 01:18:00 +0000

There are two other hapa boys in T’s daycare … and even before I realized that they were hapa, from the start the three of them kind of gravitated towards each other - maybe because they see me, and I kinda look like their moms? Anyway, it’s really sweet. There are a couple other mixed race children and one CAD in the next age group that have really taken to T as well, always hugging him and such. It’s like they just know.

I also totally think your kids look hapa - not completely white, not completely asian. And they are gorgeous!

By: Angela

Angela — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 23:53:00 +0000

Something like that happened to me once. My daughter was in a daycare and the little girl was adopted from China by a Caucasian couple. I was dropping off my daughter and stayed to play for a little while and the little girl came up to me and held my face in her hands and just stared at me for a few minutes. My heart almost broke, no words were spoken but I knew she was looking at me because I looked familiar.

I know my own hapa children will always have the dilemma of people thinking they aren’t Asian or Caucasian enough….sigh, makes me sad when I think of it.

By: honglien123

honglien123 — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 23:47:00 +0000

I’ve never thought about it that way either. Two of my sisters in law are hapa but they always look half Asian to me, although one of them tells me she’s been told she looks hispanic. Either way, your kids are adorable (and so is that actor =).