A few years ago, our Korean dry cleaner (sounds horribly stereotypical and it is, but they were awesome) taught G how to say ‘Happy New Year’ in Korean. G asked this poor man to say it over and over again as he wrote it down phonetically on a dry cleaning receipt. He kept this piece of paper in his car for months. He practiced it all the time. It cracked me up. (This may sound like he should be classified as one of those ‘ew’ guys, but he isn’t. I think he liked the idea of learning something totally random, and when I mean random, I mean he was trying to learn something that sounded difficult and impressive so he could boast not about knowing it, but that he had learned it.)
About a year later, we were in NYC at my friend’s incredible New-Year’s-Millennium-Per-The-Gregorian-Calendar-Party (R, do you think I’ll ever forget a party name like that? Seriously one of the best parties). G and I were chatting with a Korean friend of ours. Suddenly, G was inspired and decided to let loose with his bad self. “Sae-heh-bok mah-nee pah-doh-say-yo!” After her initial surprise, our friend quickly opened her purse, retrieved a dollar and threw it at him as she rolled her eyes. “You’re supposed to bow you know, but I’ll let it go.” LOVE you, E (even though I know you don’t read this).
I loved the look on G’s face. Money for speaking Korean? He had heard about it in near-mythical terms, when my cousins and I talked about all the money we ‘made’ at Christmas and New Year’s; knew about the gift of giving money — hell, he DID open half of the envelopes from our wedding guests himself. But this was new, and he was taken aback. And I watched as the surprise in his eyes was taken over by amusement. And then, the light bulb appeared: How much fucking money can I make from this? Can I take it on the road? Hit all the Koreatowns across the nation? Shit, I think I’ve found my calling! (In his naive defense, we were pretty smashed by then.)
Sorry, G. This is not a strip club holiday; you won’t get money tucked in your shirt pocket with your performances. And as much as my family loves you, the big white man coming in and bowing is not quite the same.
As much as this makes me laugh, I wish we had done more for this holiday. I wish I knew more about Korean holidays, other than the financial and culinary aspects of them. I love the Internet — especially the world of blogs — because I love hearing about other people’s memories and how they celebrate them. Where would I be without you, blog friends?
To everyone out there, ?? ? ?? ????!
Now show me the money.
3 Comments
When we were kids we didn’t participate in family stuff as much, being so far away here in Chicago, but on the few occasions that elders were around or visiting, we were TOTAL sae-beh whores. And boy did we clean up but good. Never thought of taking the show on the road, though, now that’s creative!
I never knew of these traditions until I married - think of all the money I’d missed out on while growing up! My husband’s family is large and very giving, so we happily do the sae-beh thing… heck, we even kinda tip Em over so she can collect too! (Yeah, we’re evil like that - anything to postpone shelling out to the cousins ourselves!)
It’s considered tacky to receive money after you become an adult. Once you become an adult, you don’t accept money, but give it. You can still do the bowing thing, but it’s better to refuse money when offered, unless the giver persists. The bowing thing is intergenerational, nephews to uncles, grandchildren to grandparents, etc. Since your friend and your husband are from similar generations, it is strange to expect money from her. Your husband can bow to your parents, but it’s still tacky to expect money. In fact, you guys should be giving them a gift of cash. As for bowing to Korean people that you don’t know, no.