These pictures were from over a month ago. But I thought I would post the pictures now that I’ve calmed down a bit about it.

It was my own fault. I was so proud of the kids as I sat in the kitchen, having a snack and reading some self-indulgent celebrity magazine. I listened as they giggled and said, “[Bean] turn, [Bean] turn.” Then after another minute, “[Buddy] turn, [Buddy] turn.” No bickering. No pushing. No refereeing… Bliss.

When I went into the family room to see what they were sharing so well, they turned to face me with blackened faces. They stopped laughing when they saw me, as if they were waiting for me and understood the trouble they would be in, but they still had hopeful smiles on their faces; their glee obviously not able to catch up to thoughts of their demise quickly enough.

&*%#$*!#@& WHAT THE FUCK??? %$!%@*#! pretty much sums up the next several hours.

…A dry cleaning trip, a visit from Sears, some Resolve, globs of toothpaste, a bottle of nail polish remover, and various other stupidass Old Wives’ Remedies (sometimes the internet is a Goddamn waste of my time, I swear), and the ink is still there. Oh, the Resolve worked — on one pillowcase. Fucking awesome.