The other morning, the kids and I headed out to a playgroup. We were late, of course (I’m a chronic schedule delinquent and having two toddlers does not help this flaw). Buddy picked out some sneakers to wear and I sat him down and quickly put the first shoe on him. Abruptly, he decided he didn’t want to put on the other sneaker. I pulled the lone shoe off and gave him the option of another pair… then another pair. Then tried the first pair again — he refused them all. I sighed. “We can’t go out until you put your shoes on.” He continued to shake his head: “No.” So I opened the door to go back upstairs and announced, “Ok, we’re going back upstairs then.” Predictably, he stood shaking his head, “No,” while I pointed upstairs. Hoping this threat worked, I asked him again if he wanted to pick out some shoes (nope, didn’t work). The Bean, meanwhile, watched our exchange back and forth like a tennis match, anxiously awaiting the outcome. Finally I said, “Come on [Bean], let’s take your boots off. We’re going back upstairs.” I took a step toward her as she took a step back and, wide-eyed, shook her head, “No, no.” Then she squatted down, looked under the bench, plucked the first shoes she saw for Buddy and shoved them at him with a disgusted-yet-afraid-that-I-was-going-to-follow-through look on her face as if to say, “Oh for fuck’s sake, just put them on! Can’t you see she’s serious? Stop behaving like a freakin’ baby.” And, just like that, he sat down and let me put the sneakers on him.

The Bean seems to hold more rank than I do around here (or maybe they have some evil twin eye thing going on). Of course, Buddy still wanted to take them off at the playgroup. I sat with him in my lap, trying to remain calm while whispering, “No, you have to leave them on,” as he tugged on his feet and tried to kick them off, all the while emitting a faint, (but still audible, let there be no doubt) escalating whine. My heart started to beat fast in anticipation of a meltdown. Thankfully, he let it go. He smelled my fear and had pity on me, I guess…. Or, Bean was sending him the evil twin eye again from across the room: Dude, just LET IT GO!

Hey, as long as she’s on my side, I don’t care how she’s getting business done (evil twin eye, a little bossiness, some attitude, whatever). My girl is just getting it DONE. And we could all use someone like that on our side once in awhile.